Concerned about a Parent?

Worrying about a parent's drug or alcohol use can be a difficult and unsettling experience. If your parents have a problem with drugs or alcohol, their behaviour might be strange, they might become unreliable and you might be worried them coming to harm or getting in trouble.

Being worried about them in this situation is a normal response and it's important that you know that their alcohol or drug use is not your fault.

If you're worried about a parent, the first thing you should do is talk to someone. This can help you to understand the situation better and might give you an idea of what you could do about it. You could talk to a friend, a relative or an adult you can trust. You could also call Childline on 0800 1111.

There are places you can go to if you want support. There are also services near where you live that can provide free advice and support to your parent. You can find these on FRANK in the get help/support near you.

Remember that you can call FRANK anytime on 0300 123 6600 for confidential advice.

How can I stop my parent drinking or taking drugs?

You can't force your parent to do something that they don't want to, and it isn't your fault if they don't want to stop drinking or taking drugs.

There are local free services that can help. They are used to working with parents and most parents who go to them will get better.

What should I do?

Worrying about a parent's alcohol or drug use is stressful, and how you choose to deal with it is up to you. But it's essential you think of your own safety and wellbeing when you decide on which approach to take. It may be that you need support and/or professional help yourself too.

Remember that you can call FRANK anytime on 0300 123 6600 for confidential advice.

If your parent isn't able to look after you or your brothers or sisters (if you have them it is important that they get all the support they need. If they don't get that support, it could mean that social services become involved to support you, if they think you aren't being cared for properly.

Some parents worry that if they go to drug and alcohol treatment services, they will have their children taken into care. they might have told you that this will happen.

If your parent has been hurting or not looking after you or another member of the family, they could get into troble, but this doen't mean they shouldn't get treatment. Many aprents in treatment don't have any involvement with social workers.

If your parent is caught with drugs, they might get into trouble. They could get a warning, an arrest, a f formal caution or a conviction. This will depend on the drugs they're catught with and what they're doing with them.

It is a big decision to talk to your parent about something they're doing that is worrying you. It is worth taking a bit of time to thinking about it first. Talking it through with people will help.

Telling your parent that you are worried about them could help them realise they have a problem that needs sorting. But it could make them defensive or angry. If you don't feel you can talk to them, you shouldn't feel like you have let yourself or your parent down. But you should talk to someone you trust about how you are feeling and coping.

Talking to a parent about their use of alcohol or drugs can be really difficult, especially if you think that they might have a problem. You should make sure that you put your safety first if you think raising the topic will make them angry.

It might be worth asking someone you trust how you might bring up the topic and what you could say. You could also aks them to be with you when you have the conversation.

In general if you are going to talk about this with a parent you should make sure that they are sober, and when there's plenty of time. This isn't a conversation you can rush. And you may need to have more than one conversation.

Things that won't help are:

talking in a way that comes across as being judgemental
not giving them a chance to talk - spend more time listening than talking
if it becomes an argument

Remember that you can call FRANK anytime on 0300 123 6600 for confidential advice.

YOur parent might have told you that you can't tell anyone else or they'll get in trouble.

This is a difficult situation for any child to deal with. There is rarely one right way to deal with it. However, if you or your family's basic safety or needs, like having enough to eat, are not being met, or if your parent is treating you badly, then you really need to get some outside help. This could be a relative or another adult you trust or call CHILDLINE on 0800 1111.

Keeping things secret does not make the problem go away and may even make things worse.

Concerned about a Parent?

Will my parent get into trouble?

Should I talk about my parents alcohol or drug use?

How to talk about alcohol or drugs with your parent

My parent says we need to keep this private