my son and drugs

My son is 19 at the moment and I am so scared he will not see his next birthday due to his habit. As a mother you go through many tough times but with this I am out of my depth. he tells me he has it under control but where any sort of drugs are concerned you never have it under control it controls you. He cannot even be honest with himself yet and until he can admit it to himself he will continue to go downhill.

This just makes me feel a failure as a parent. I know its his choice to take drugs but he got his guidance from me when he was younger. As i write this I am in total despair, my son is killing himself and I can't stop it, as a mother I would lay down my life to save him, but he would take it then go back for more.

I must stop writing now as the tears are flowing and I feel that I cant go on with this anymore. I hope anybody who reads this who takes drugs will read my words and think of the affect on you and your family. Please seek help dont continue the circle of the downhill spiral break it any way you can.