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Heroin wrecks lives

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03rd Apr 2012

I was about 21 when i started using heroin in university. It wasn't long before i needed it to get to sleep. After that withdrawl simptoms hit hard. I needed it to function at all. I dropped out of university and my days were filled up with dodgy deals to enable me to score. Drug dealing, swindling and stealing became my life for 16 years. I've lost nearly everyone I was close to and anything i valued or was of value was sold for smack. I have done many detoxes(rattles/clucks/cold turkeys) and euphoric recall always takes me back to using. In addition to those i have been in detox clinics and had many implants (which prevent the drug working on the brain) but have always gone back when they cease to work. I have also attended 4 rehab clinics but the pull of the drug and its euphoric feeling always seem to outweigh life. When i get so dependant on the drug that it is difficult to sustain that amount of use without serious crime, eventally I give up for a small period, each time hoping it will be the last. I am on the other hand extreemely lucky that my parents never give up on me and neither does my wife. even the birth of my darling son 6 yrs ago was not enough for me to give it up. I am sober at the moment and have been clean for 4 weeks. I reached one of those points i explained earlier that my use was exceeding 5-7 grams a day. This time it feels a little different and i hope that this is the end of it. Depression of real life and my ability to support myself let alone my family seem like mount everest in the clear light of sobriety as i approach 40. But to remain sober will be an even greater achievement. But as i said its not just my life that it has ruined, my mother dreams of finding me dead, so does my wife and the impact psychologically its had on my loved ones is severe. I only hope that my son hasn't suffered severely as a result. Please let this be the end Please

Tags: heroin experiences Addiction
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