There is life after smack..
Right then, where to start. Basically I’ve been on and off (mostly on) heroin for the last 12 years, started when I was about 18 and I’m now 30. I can honestly say that in that time it has controlled every single day of my life, from going to work to going on holiday. If I didn’t have any meth or gear then I wouldn’t go. Its that simple.
I’ve done some awful things to keep my habit going. I’ve stole from everyone in my family and every place I’ve worked. I’ve literally wrecked everyone’s life that is close to me. It didn’t matter how I got money as long as I got it, I’d just deal with the consequences whatever they were. It didn’t matter.
It took 12 years for me to realise what’s important to me, luckily I’ve got a great mum who will stand by me and stick up for me no matter what. BUT with my sister it’s a different story, we used to be really close, not any more and that is my major regret. I miss her and her kids (my 2 nieces). Oh yeah not to miss out the fact I lost all my school mates over the years, there’s only so much people can take before they’ve had enough.
I’ve been clean now for 3 weeks and it’s the longest I’ve ever been off it, I’ve done sh*t loads of rattles but always got back on it within days. it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I ain’t even started yet. Amazingly I’m not taking any meds now, I did my rip on subitex but it was a quick one and yes I was ill but nothing as bad as I thought it would be. Put it this way, its F**kin great waking up in the morning without being ill or worrying about how I’m going to get money.
THERE REALLY IS LIFE AFTER SMACK - you’ve just got to want it hard enough.