Heartbroken over heroin addict Mum
I was about thirteen years old when I found a bottle of methadone in the kitchen cupboard. I recognised the name as I always had my head in my Mum’s magazines. I knew it wasn’t ordinary medicine. My curiosity got the better of me, so I went to school and asked a teacher why someone would take methadone. He answered with “it’s for heroin addicts, a way of coming off of heroin”. I made the decision then and there not to address it to anyone, but keep it to myself. I knew it was my Mum’s, and had decided that she had a past, but we are in the present and it hasn’t affected me or the family in a negative way. I’ve spent the last thirteen years with that at the back of my mind.
The last year or so I have watched my mother become a woman I don’t recognise anymore. She’s lost her personality, she’d become dull looking and a shell of the woman who I remember as my mother. At first it started with phone calls about her not having any money, and not wanting to bother my dad with it all as he is a worrier. She confided in me, and as the older daughter I did all that I could. I paid bills, I went home to visit, I made sure they had everything they needed. Things didn’t get any better. Instead they got a million times worse. Suddenly I was faced with the reality of debt mounting up to over £50,000 and ninety days to pay something towards the mortgage before they lost everything. Faced with this and still not allowed to tell my dad in case he worried. Blackmailed by my own mother, warning me that it would only tear the family apart and would I really want that?
The whole family now knows, and my mother has admitted she’s a drug addict. She won’t tell us what she takes, but it’s likely to be heroin or crack. It’s destroyed us as a family. The lying, stealing and general lack of emotion is enough to make me want to give up. Keeping all creditors happy is hard enough, but when there’s not enough incoming money to sort the outgoings it seems like a never ending battle. Then I discover the little money there is she has stolen and given to her low-life associates, which was there to pay the debts.
What hurts more is I’ve heard her talking to her acquaintances about how I have confronted people in the past who have turned up looking for her either to supply drugs or collect money. They all laugh about it and think it’s hysterical. It’s hysterical that a family has been destroyed. It’s hysterical that my dad four years before retirement discovers they’ve not got a thing, they have no future, and he certainly can’t think about enjoying retirement. It’s hysterical that she has stolen her own daughter’s personal and valuable belongings and continued to lie about it. She’s also waiting to be charged for a driving while under the influence of drug offence, and before Christmas she was fined for shop lifting. I expect there’s more that I don’t even know about yet. Daily I get told by her that she might as well kill herself because she’s fed up of listening to people getting angry or upset about everything. She may have had the time of her life off her face, being supported by her family, always with a roof over her head, food on the table, holidays and everything you would expect of a family. However her husband and two daughters are left with betrayal, no trust and heartbreak.