Dad, Drugs and Me

At the age of 6 i found a piece of tinfoil on the coffee table in the living room, it was shiny and it interested me i picked it up and placed it into my mouth (don't ask why i was six) chewing the tinfoil hoping to screw it up into a tiny ball, before i knew it i was spitting out something that no longer tasted of metal but tasted like dirt, it was brown and looked like chocolate but it did not taste anything like chocolate, i had swallowed half of it and threw the rest into the bin unsure of what it was i went to bed to sleep of the dazed feeling i had encountered, i only realized what it was when it became more common to see my mum and dad smoking weed in front of me and my sister, my dad often became anxious and scared different from the strong and positive man i was use to.

My parents often argued and again it wasn't uncommon to see domestic abuse on both sides of my parents: my dad would kick my mum in the face and she would come at him with an item of furniture smashing it around his head, then it would all be forgotten about the next day, but not by me. Arguments would often start with my mum accusing my dad of being on harder drugs such as heroin or Ecstasy which he never admitted but became obvious he was lying by the way he reacted by the allegations. My dad was 53 when he died and at the age of ten i witness him die in front of me, leaving myself ,my mum, my sister and my three year old brother whom i am glad hasn't had to grow up seeing the Drug, Alcohol and domestic abuse i witnessed on a daily basis, even though he has missed out on so much more, i believe my dad should of thought about his children before his drugs and drink however my mum has stopped smoking weed completely and this happened as soon as my dad died.

I tried weed in the past wondering what it felt like and if it would make my life any easier, or if it made me enjoy it as much as my dad did and to be honest i felt disappointed, it wasn't fun and i felt alone, i wont be trying it again.